Do you keep in mind how previous you have been once you misplaced your virginity? I went to an all-girl personal faculty and keep in mind being one of many solely women at my highschool who both by no means had intercourse or wasn’t on contraception. I used to look ahead to my pals’ tales of doing it for the primary time—that ism till my first encounter at 17. I keep in mind it prefer it was yesterday.
Although I wasn’t as younger as my associates have been once they misplaced their virginity, I nonetheless gave it up at an early age, IMO. However there are some individuals who didn’t wait till they have been of their early-late 30s, even 40s to do the deed. A Redditor requested the query, “Those who lost their virginity very very late (30’s, 40’s etc), how did it happen?”
Each women and men chimed in to provide their private accounts on what it was like popping the cherry (or blueberry):
1. 27-year-old right here who solely misplaced it 6 months in the past. There are some issues that apparently made me “really good” in mattress which I assumed was type of “de facto” for intercourse – like listening to her entire physique, not simply gunning for PIV, selflessly stimulating her, rubbing g-spot, and so on, so it’s possible.
Then there are different issues which I used to be fairly laughably dangerous at (like taking place on her, for example) initially.
Then once more, she knew from the offset I used to be a virgin and was actually f*cking understanding about the entire thing, which helped a lot. Went by way of some issues in a fairly medical method. (TheTjalian)
2. I used to be 30 and had by no means had a boyfriend or been on any dates. I got here from a fairly spiritual background that I had lengthy since left behind however I nonetheless had some hangups about intercourse and the way it was this large momentous factor. I’d constructed it up a lot in my thoughts it was ridiculous. Add to that I’m fairly socially awkward, shy, and really cautious. Properly 30 comes round and I’ve had sufficient. F*ck it, I simply need to get it over with so I join OkCupid with the intent of simply happening some dates and having enjoyable. First man I chat with is type, candy, and humorous so we meet up for drinks. By the third date I’m able to lose it, however I didn’t inform him he was my first. It was a little painful however I faked my method by means of it, and there was a tiny little bit of blood which I blamed on perhaps beginning my interval early. I figured I’d by no means see him once more so I attempted to not really feel dangerous concerning the stain on his sheets.
Nicely he was even kinder and sweeter and funnier than I had anticipated. A fourth date turned a month turned a yr… And so on. 4 years later leads us to right now. We’re celebrating our first yr of marriage in a month and we simply purchased our first home. He’s my very best pal however he nonetheless doesn’t know he was my first. (Harmenia)
three. I used to be 33, a lesbian who solely dated a few women, additionally late in life. I’d been seeing a woman long-distance and she or he came around for a few days. That first night time we fumbled however I had no expertise and she or he was used to another person being “in charge.” She informed me she didn’t need to harm me, that I used to be like “a 12 year-old.” I turned in the direction of the wall and cried. The subsequent night time she touched me and I ultimately obtained off. I’m counting that as intercourse. That was a few years in the past and we’re married now…perhaps finished that a handful of occasions. I assume that counts. (Time_Ocean)
four. I’m 34 now and was 30 once I misplaced my virginity. I endure from social nervousness and melancholy, which suggests that it’ll take a very very long time to truly get snug round individuals. Between that and the truth that not one of the individuals I fell in love with have been all for me, it simply by no means occurred (one night time stands or hiring a prostitute or stuff like that have been out of the query, as it will set off main nervousness assaults).
I had developed emotions for a good friend and, because it turned out later, he additionally for me. Because it was a lengthy distance relationship, we might speak a lot on the telephone/on-line and actually received to know one another nicely. He knew of my anxieties and by no means pressured me into taking it to the subsequent step – he would wait till I used to be prepared for it.
He came to visit for a prolonged go to when it lastly occurred. The primary two nights we might nonetheless sleep in separate rooms, then in the identical mattress, and after a week… it simply occurred. Somewhat over a yr later we obtained married, and nonetheless are. ([deleted])
5. I used to be 36 when it occurred for me. I employed a prostitute. She was a massive lady who I discovered on craigslist and we mentioned the way it was my first time earlier than we met up. She took excellent care of me and helped me by way of some points I used to be having with getting an erection. After about an hour I had lastly achieved vaginal intercourse. I paid her for her providers and haven’t ever been laid since. (L-Chron-Hubbard)
6. I misplaced mine at 39. Sure, 39.
I had my first naked-with-a-girl expertise at 23, however when she advised me she wasn’t in love with me, I bodily locked up. Took me months earlier than I might even masturbate once more.
Ultimately I obtained collectively once more with the identical woman, however throughout foreplay she performed with my penis and I got here instantly. That was the final day in school and the top of that story.
Second time, I used to be 34. I truly penetrated nevertheless it instantly went limp. That was a tremendous confidence builder.
The third time was with my present spouse. We had gone out on a few dates. We had watched a film collectively at her place, kissed the primary time that night time. She requested if I needed to sleep over within the literal sense of the phrase. I didn’t sleep at all, absolutely erect the entire night time. We did the deed within the morning. I got here in 1 minute.
Issues have been already higher the second time and now we’ve a completely regular and really satisfying intercourse life. I’m a joyful man. (lost_it_at_39)
7. It was about 2 months earlier than my 36th birthday. After dwelling most of my life as a morbidly overweight, depressed, alcoholic foreveralone, a sequence of occasions occurred that made me determine to vary.
In 2012, a lady requested me out on a date (the primary time this had ever occurred) and at first I stated sure, however later I backed out, blaming it on social nervousness. The lady was spectacularly unattractive, however actually I used to be simply too embarrassed at my lack of expertise to undergo with it.
A short while later a member of the family died in a horrible automotive accident. He was well-liked in his group, and a whole lot of individuals confirmed up for the funeral. I sat there at the service and imagined how if it was my funeral, how few individuals there can be, and the way little they must say about me.
That was the catalyst, and over the subsequent few months I began to really feel a little higher. I noticed I used to be not depressed, and I had a want to vary. I joined subreddits, and though I by no means participated, studying the posts made me slowly understand that change was attainable.
In early 2013, I learn a guide with a weight-reduction plan plan that I assumed I might persist with, so I attempted it and ended up having nice outcomes. I give up consuming, and over that yr I misplaced about 90 lbs (130 in complete at present) and my confidence grew, considerably.
On the finish of 2013, I made a decision that I actually wanted to satisfy ladies, however I used to be too embarrassed. Searching reddit someday I learn a submit on tips on how to rent a prostitute on-line, and determined to do it. On the time I assumed it was the one strategy to achieve the expertise I wanted to satisfy actual ladies.
I didn’t inform the woman about my previous, simply the truth that I had misplaced a bunch of weight and was shy. It was awkward, however although it wasn’t very best, afterward I felt as if a big weight had been lifted off my shoulders. My entire life I had agonized over the truth that I might all the time be alone and a virgin, and abruptly issues have been totally different.
I acquired a little loopy after that, and ended up hiring about a dozen totally different women over the subsequent few months. I ended up actually hitting it off with one, and we began seeing one another, and have been collectively about a yr. She’s give up the enterprise and we’re fairly completely happy now.
It’s not a story I’d share with anybody I do know, and I’m not precisely pleased with it, however i’m not precisely ashamed both. Typically you gotta do what you gotta do. Fortunately on this case it labored out, and if nothing else, I’m a lot better off than I used to be earlier than. Additionally, intercourse is absolutely, very nice. (Badger_Dick)
eight. About a yr in the past, at 35. I misplaced it to an Asian “masseuse”. It lasted all of 30 seconds. It wasn’t notably pleasant, however at least I gained’t die not having skilled intercourse.
Background: After 35 years of ready for the best individual, after which lastly, lastly discovering that individual, solely to seek out out that she doesn’t really feel the identical means about me… nicely, I principally determined to cease saving myself for anybody. I’ll by no means have the love I would like, and I gained’t be capable of “give myself” to her, so I made a decision to only throw my virginity away by visiting one in every of these Asian therapeutic massage parlours that one hears a lot about. I’m not pleased with it, nor do I remorse it. After ready so lengthy to offer it to somebody particular, it abruptly turned ineffective to me. (throwaway49576)
9. I’ve all the time had an inferiority complicated with ladies so I turned to males for intercourse. I had my first homosexual intercourse at age 36. Nevertheless I used to be nonetheless occupied with ladies. One of many few pals I’ve that is aware of I’m bi, determined to assist me with ladies by taking me to a particular masseuse that may value $120. My pal is Vietnamese and is aware of I’ve a factor for Asians (male or feminine), so he took me Vietnamese therapeutic massage parlor.
It was a common house in residential neighborhood of Southern California. We got here to the door and an previous lady spoke to my good friend in Vietnamese. He then advised me I used to be all set and I used to be let in whereas my good friend went again to the automotive to attend. As I got here in, I noticed a corridor with purple lights over every of 6 bed room doorways. Out of the final got here a woman, perhaps 24, who had a nice physique, however not a very engaging face. She took me into her room and after a delicate again therapeutic massage requested me to show over. I did and it was solely a jiffy of rubbing my chest that she labored her approach down and requested if I needed a blow job. I stated “okay” and she or he went for it. I rubbed her clit by way of her panties whereas she sucked me. She then paused and requested if I needed a condom. I used to be confused however stated “yes.” She put it on me after which, after shortly dropping her panties, climbed on the desk, acquired underneath me and put me inside her. I f*cked her, noting that her vagina was a lot softer than anal intercourse I had with males. Afterward, she gave me a towel to wash up and I left. My pal waited outdoors, anxious to listen to my verdict. I described what occurred and he stated, “You were supposed to get your choice of women. You didn’t get your choice?” I stated “No,” and he stated “That’s f*cked.”
In order that’s how I misplaced my virginity at age 49. I’m 51 now and haven’t been with a lady since. I’m contemplating discovering a overseas lady on-line that desires to marry an American so I can have a household. That’s in all probability a dangerous concept although. (omnichronos)
10. 38, she was 36. I used to be in relationships earlier than, however I didn’t need to go that additional step, which in my thoughts would signify critical dedication. Till I discovered her. We knew one another for a few years, however began courting solely final spring. Over time we acquired more and more extra intimate till at some point we determined to go all the best way. “You do realize that I’m committing myself for the long run, don’t you?” I requested her earlier than we began. She nodded. We moved collectively final month, and if every little thing goes fantastic, I’ll suggest her in a few extra.
I do know that is going past the scope of the query, however a few issues I’d like to spotlight. I don’t understand how widespread they’re for us late-comers (sorry for the pun), however right here it goes:
- For our first intercourse I purchased a condom that was means too small. I assume I assumed my penis was on the small aspect, from watching all of the porn movies in my youth, however we by no means completed the primary time as a result of the condom stored slipping off.
- I struggled to complete. At first, love making was a chore – we ended up each bruised and with sore muscle mass and joints. Thrusting it in for 30 minutes could be fairly tiresome and never a lot enjoyable. My girlfriend has to complete me together with her hand.
- We additionally had points with correct condom put on and on multiple event the condom broke. I then discovered I needed to deflate the bubble on the highest and pull my foreskin again when placing the factor on. One time I completed inside my girlfriend, which brought about the one disaster in our relationship. No arguing or something like that, extra an “oh shit” second.
- Talking of condoms: Neither of us had any expertise with intercourse with out it, so we figured if I stored up with sporting one on a regular basis, we gained’t be “inconvenienced” by understanding of something higher.
- Over the course of our experimentations we tried numerous positions from porn movies, and I gained critical appreciation of the bodily health and acrobatic talent of the actors. Something aside from missionary or cowgirl is way past our talents. And we’re bodily match and pretty lively.
- Till today, after greater than half a yr of normal love making, I’m unable to complete as shortly as my girlfriend. She’s annoyed as a result of she thinks she isn’t ok, however I’m glad, as a result of I don’t assume I’d have the ability to proceed after I’m accomplished. (Bruncvik)